Marriage - My Take !!!

I am getting married n that's official now :-)
So i decided to post something about my take on this special moment of my life.It's a relationship of commitment toward one another, seeking to serve the interests of one another. Actually it's a very difficult situation for many people, they see it as an added responsibility, but i believe there should be someone who can discipline me a bit,look you should always have an eye witness of your life and that's the way it is.

Now something for you "Neha", One day you asked me , if it would be the last time, Well !!!
If i know that it would be the last time that i see you walk out the door, i would give a hug n call you back for one more...if i know it would be the last time when i would be there to share your day, well,i won't let it slip away...but there will always be another day to say i love you,there will always be another chance to say "anything i can do", but just in case i might be worng. n today is all i get. i would
like to say how much i love you, how much i feel for you ...n i will keep saying untill tomorrow comes....!!!

Few Dreams !!!

Dreams, few funny , few scary...and that is the way i move from one night to other day..few dreams will probably remain unachieved thorughout, but i care no less for them.
How many times you have seen yourself falling from a 5 storey building but have your ever touched the ground? No, and that's the problem, i mean even in my dreams i can't catchup with my dreams...:)
One night i saw, one of my friend was murdered and my other friend got arrested for the case, and after investigation i found that the real culprit was dhaundy...hehehe sorry buddy but you should not have hid that knife in a programming book, but hell you didn't have anything else not even in dreams .Very recently i again saw one of my friend "chitvan",as a supari killer, he goes to some place in haridwar to kill a person, but he himself gets caught in the process by some gundas , who beat him almost to death and later we 4 (dubey, khemu, shukla and me)go for his rescue...hehehe....and we find him hung ulta on a tree, what a stupid scene that was...lol
I actually find most of my dreams make me chuckle at some point when I remember them. Guess a lot of it is context and having to be there, but sometimes things are just too ridiculous, hehehehe.
One of my more recent favorites still had to beat the 'Beverage Villain' as I eventually dubbed him... your classic villain from a black and white silent film, tall, thin with a long wiry mustache.He controlled the various elements like fire and wind and he used them to further his evil plot of flooding the soda pop market with his own brand of canned beverage.He went so far as to wire an entire building with explosives in order to ensure I did not try to meddle with his evil plan. Yeah, I meddled, the building blew up with me in it, hah.
I am quite sure it is a lot funnier to me than anyone else simply because I was there, but I do still have a soft spot in my heart for that poor guy... certainly one of the less successful villains in my dreams, hehee
will add few more dreams...so keep visiting :)

Alone !!!

आप से गिला, आप की कसम, सोचते रहे कर सके ना हम...उसकी क्या खता ला-दवा हैं गम,क्या गिला करे चारागर(डॉक्टर) से हम...ये अगर नही यार की गली,चलते-2 क्यों रुक गये कदम..

कब की पत्थर हो चुकी थी मुन्तजिर आंखे मगर, छुके जब देखा तो मेरे हाथ गीले हो गये,अब कोई उम्मीद है शाहिद ना कोई आरजू,आसरे छुटे तो जीने के वसीले हो गये,...

सामने आये मेरे,देखा मुझे बात भी की,मुस्कुराये भी पुराने किसी रिश्ते के लिये,कल का अखबार था,बस देख लिया, रख भी दिया...

उनकी उल्फ़त का यकीन हो, उनके आने की उम्मीद, होंगी दोनो सूरते तब हैं, बहार-ए-इन्तजार...उनके खत की आरजू हैं,उनकी आमद का ख्याल,किस कदर फ़ैला हुआ हैं, कारोबार-ए-इन्तजार

जादू है या तिल्सिम तुम्हारी जुबान मे,तुम झुठ कह रहे थे, मुझे ऐतबार था...क्या क्या हमारी सजदे की रुसवाईयां हुई,नक्शे कदम किसी का सरे रहगुजार था...

Bob Woolmer - A Man of Steal

Pakistan coach Bob Woolmer has died, per an announcement by NDTV just now, Poor man , from the very little i know of him, he was always sincere in his efforts, to make this pakistani team , the best team in the world and for this transition, he has been scolded, insulted, by various members of this team.
And this may seem unkind, but i hope, some pakistani team members, including a certain akhtar, afridi, will refrain from offering ritual condolences. Not after the way they treated a man who had their good at heart, a heart that, finally, appears to have burst from the load.
And if it sounds harsh i mean it to.
Now You presumably, rest in peace, Bob. you deserve to, after all that you have had to take, to swallow, over the past couple of years.
Bye Bye and ya, i still believe you were the best coach in this world, no matter what World cup 2007 result shows.

Dubey, Khemu, Shukla,Deepak,Basant,Param,YRS and Me !!!

I woke up early that day,to be more precise, i left my bed early,as i couldn't sleep last night, his every word was still haunting me.
"What's wrong with me Dr., please, tell me",i was stunned at his dumb silence."OK OK, if you insist,some portion of your brain is dead and rest is going to be damaged soon, after 2 weeks, you will start loosing your memory, you won't be able to recognize people,though your intellect will be same and and",he stumbled with words.
"after a month what Dr", i was shocked."look amit, i fear God but you don't have much time left", He was much soft this time."Can't you do anything", i almost pleaded with tears in my eyes, i guess my damaged cells were also crying.But Dr and I both were aware of the answer.That was "No".Life was the battle which i had lost.On the way to my house, i heard, India won another one day against South Africa, some other day,it could make my day but not that day.
My bathroom was also loosing its brain cells, as Khemu had woked up and started his live performance,He doesn't sing bad but worst,he usually wakes up early and accompanies it with a song in a hoarse,quavering, decidedly unmusical voice.He wakes us up every morning but you have not thought of complaining.No one has.
"Shut up you fat ass", i shouted, as it was hurting my brain cells.i am sure, Khemu was the reason behind my damaged brain."Hell you go idiot", bathroom roared without a slightest twinge of guilt.i switched on my TV and thanks to the technology i selected Kal Ho Naa Ho title track from the menu and exactly after 2 min it was on the screen,SRK moving around, singing beautiful song, somewhere in London i guess."How fake,i am in the same situation infact worse,i don't have Saif ali khan and Preety zinta to deal with".Suddenly Basant came out of his room with mobile in his hand,which i suspect,has been attached to him when he was reposing in his mother's womb. He was talking to his friend, whom he was talking last evening, last night, late night, today early morning and will be talking this night as well,i thought.
i saw myself in the mirror,"you have only 30 odd days,that's it, you are done Mr Amit", i said to myself."Move aside, i have to comb",fatty was still furious on me."I better be, i have only 30 days, and i don't want to get rolled under", i replied.He gave me a nasty look.
I still, hadn't said anybody about my illness,as i hate sympathetic faces.But i knew,"i have to tell them as there are some money equations, that need to be solved, before i face my early demise.", i said to myself on the way to the office.
My manager had decided a long time activity for me, which we had discussed last day, and i was happy at the work profile but things were different now.i couldn't do anything long term now,neither work nor affair.
Before lunch usually you can see me roaming around aricent with dubey ,Param and sometime with khemu. but today i was calm, less excited about the girls in the company,less excited about my chances of getting a promotion, and much less excited about the work. I powered on my ipod and selected few ghazals, i just wanted to let this time go.But before that, dubey called me for lunch and as it goes daily, i called up shukla and he called up deepak and yadav ram sharma.
Around 1 pm we went for the lunch,People were strolling around happily,except one, Yadav Ram Sharma, he was talking to Deepak and Shukla, perhaps about how his new land lord had cheated on him, infact how this entire world had cheated on him,about the new mobile launched, and how mobile company cheated on him by not launching it before and offered him a "less featured phone with less mega pixel camera" in the same rate,or new investment schemes and how these schemes would give them money during their last days.Last Day,caught my ears."Do i really need money during my these last days, No asshole, i need life".I thought.
Dubey was lost in the TV, where some whites were giving their advice how their belt would help him to get slim."get a life man, these belts are shit, do some exercise, and get yourself in shape, else you no longer need damaged brain to die, your overfeed Paunch will do the needful, asshole", i said to dubey.He gave me a cold look.this is the story of my life, most of the things i say or do , go unnoticed.Khemu was eating like it was the last time, Param was not there ,probably he had left for his house again.
Suddenly, i saw her, the lady in the pink, my only crush in the aricent,i never had the courage to go up to her and say ," Will you let me share ur smile, will you allow me to offer my shoulder when you cry,will you be my love for this entire life even after this life too,So many people love, but i bet, i love you even if you get fat,...".
I had no idea what would happen if i met her in the corridor or on the stairs.Probably nothing, i had met her in the corridor or on the stairs a number of times earlier.Nothing had happened except her slow and steady wrestling of my gaze to the floor, an act that took a second or two but felt like a lifetime and left me gasping for breath.
She went pass to me, i could sense her smell which grew denser along with its healing touch."lets move, i have to take a cigarette", Dubey said,"ok, but try to avoid it man,it ", i paused and then added ,"kills".
After few days i went to my home town, and told everyone about my damaged brain, everybody was so sad, that made my life hell.I also tried to do shah rukh khan for a girl next door,but to my luck,i failed miserably.Probably that works only on Preety Zinta, i guess.i returned back, on 28th day.
My brother had already said everything about me to my friends.They knew that i would be no more after 2 days max, probably that's why, Khemu didn't try any song that day.I opened my eyes, everybody was around, but i could not recognize any faces.Suddenly a person with tight ass, said, hey buddy, remember, me shravan, it's dubey, khemu , deepak, param,yadav ram.
"OK,you are Shravan,you are still alive, why didn't you kill Dashrath,that bastard killed your blind parents",i tried to make this moment light.He smiled with tears in his eyes."To hell you go", he replied almost with a choked throat infact everyone around, was crying probably at the bad joke."what's my name by the way", i asked, as i had forgotten even my name." You are Shahrukh khan", Dubey replied with a dull smile."okkk,hey khemu,can you please sing me a song before i die",i said with a harsh smile."Will you please shut up ,i don't want to kill others, by singing",Khemu answered and paused.
"Hmmm, Hey YRS,how's your landlord buddy, and did you find some other handset", i joked."cmon, you asshole, get ur medicine,",YRS whispered.
Suddenly, i saw two angels,they were there to take me to the heaven,"Are Muslims also taken up by angels, i read somewhere they get buried with genuine grief and genuine relief."i murmured, but my voice was very low, i saw everyone, rushing towards me, dubey held my hand,"what's the matter buddy, you will be alright," he cried.but my eyes were closed, they were crying, "He was too good, i never said it to him, what a good singer he was, what a good player he was, what a genuine person he was, i will never get the chance to say him now....",dubey said remorsefully.Everyone was sad, some more some less, khemu was the most, may be because i forgot to give him my share of the rent of that month or may be his only chance to be a good singer was dead with me.
and on the bed, my only undamaged cell,occupied by the lady in the pink was still alive, slightly blurred, but she was there right in front of me, giving me her cute smile.Angels started their work, taking my soul away from my family, from my friends and from the lady in the pink, far away .....

I love you mom ................

It was my first trip alone, as most of my relatives can be encircled in a 30km area, so this journey of 500 km by no means was fun.looking outside my train, i could hardly see anything, i was sleepless, someone at the upper berth was snoring as if he was having a competition with the train itself and make no mistake, he was the winner that night hands down.Somewhere distant in the train a baby was crying , ahha !!! you can't say the gender untill he/she is 5 year old, i mean above 5, only girls cry)."Now, now...no more tears. Off to dreamland you go! Don't worry...Mother will be right here when you wake up in the morning.Oh, now you've started crying all over again! Honestly darling, Mother just doesn't know what to do with you sometimes", her/his mom was trying to make him/her sleep but...
So i moved out of my compartment, it was around 2 am in the night and we were in the no man's land, outside you could only hear the train and inside only upper birth...i was missing my home, all the days of closeness, all the fun , my family memebers, neighbours.all the lunches and dinners, i never skipped because of my mom, tasted quite sweet that night."aha there must be something in my bag", i thought and opened my bag, yup , "you never miss it mom", i took the first bite, "dont know if they will use the same ghi in the parathas",i said to myself and finished my food.upper berth was silent now, "is he dead , i read somewhere excessive snoring can lead us to death", i said to TT, who was just checking the list, probably to make some cash."No, he has waked up, he is 85, named shyam kishore, atleast give him some respect",TT replied ."Oops, god save me, one who can snor like a pig should be a man of substance, and can easily chew me", i murmured."Ticket please", TT demanded,"here is it", i opened my bag again and handed it over to him."Hmm Going to lucknow, student ??", he asked."Ya, first time away from the home",would miss my home for a while now",i added."What are you going to miss, you will be back in few days, may be in few monthes", he sympathized."ya, but food, movie, TV shows, there won't be much fun in the hostel", i argued."Ok you will miss only these things, aha this generation is so greedy",person sitting on the upper berth said."Ok, this man has a voice too, i thought he had been only snoring since his childhood.", i whispered, i almost fantasized him, giving answers in the class in snoring voice and everytime he was beaten up by his classmates or teachers he snored.:o)
"what it has to do anything with greed", i protested."See TT saheb, this is the way to behave with ur elders" he gave me a you young people look."have you ever realized ,what does your mother feel when you get sick, ever think about your father's hard work to feed you up, your brothers your sisters,and what you gonna miss is the food, TV and all that shit." he said."you young generation are so careless". He added."Ok so i am greedy careless but young :) it's not a bad deal" i thought and suspect he was never young and was just born straight eighty years old.
"Will you please let us sleep, just now, when someone who was buzzing like a pig stopped, you guys started " someone shouted from the neighbouring compartment.Man, i had to almost kill myself to stop my laugh."Now we old people can't breathe properly", Upper berth grumbled and got down for a silent sleep, i thought.TT also left after checking and finding nothing productive there.
i switched off the light and got back to my berth.Those words were tinging in my ear.
"Am i really so materialistic, so plastic so unemotional.only food, fun is what i have in my house. No man, i love my mom, my father my bro my sis..everyone.I am not so wooden. I know, my parents don't sleep when i get some pain.", i said to myself.
Far from my compartment, that child was silent, sleeping tight in her mother's lap, who was awake saying."Sleep baby, no more tears, you are my good son".I touched my cheeks, No Man !!!, they were wet, i was crying."it's not only girls who cry, couple of minutes ago , it was that small son and now me."I said. Men cry , they do cry, it's just that, they either hold back their tears or wipe them early and that's exactly what i did that night.
"I love you mom", i said and tried to get some shut eyes, as upper berth had started it's race with the train.